


Recreant

by TheItalianWallLizard



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Blue Paladin Allura (Voltron), Dark Magic, Denial, Everyones sad and shit, Fluff and Angst, Giving up lowkey, Homesick Lance (Voltron), Hunk and Coran are best friends change my mind, Lance (Voltron) Has Anxiety, Lance (Voltron) Needs a Hug, Langst, M/M, Not even hunks cookies can make everyone feel better, Realization, Red Paladin Lance (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Traitor, i mean it counts i guess, no beta we die like men, slowburn?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-27
Updated: 2021-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-28 07:41:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30136236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheItalianWallLizard/pseuds/TheItalianWallLizard
Summary: Team Voltron was one Paladin short. After a particularly risky mission, their Red Paladin had disappeared without a trace. For months, they had not stopped looking for him. They scoured every Galran ship and base they could get into, interrogated every general and lieutenant they could get to talk. But in the midst of their search, they were halted by a new threat, one that would set them back months in the coalition. A certain Galran General that knew the Paladins like the back of his hand. He countered every attack, predicted every plan, and had stopped every ambush. There was something about the General, however, that differentiated him from the rest. His fight faltered. He would stop his fire, drop his blade. He wouldn't truly fight them...But they would readily fight him.
Relationships: Coran & Hunk (Voltron), Hunk & Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt, Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Kudos: 10





	Recreant

Lance could feel his heart practically beating out of his chest, and it definitely was not a nice feeling. He was hyper-aware of every ounce of weight the armour added to his body, every thread of the undersuit on his skin. Sweat collected just above his brow, the room he and Hunk had taken refuge in was unbelievably hot.

"You good, man?" Hunk put his hand on Lance's shoulder, shaking him out of his short trance.

"What?" Lance snapped his head up.

"Are you good?"

"Yeah, Yeah. I'm fine."

Hunk nodded, removing his hand from his friend's shoulder. He scanned the area, taking in the horribly familiar architecture. The walls were a deep washed-out purple, similar colour columns lined the long room for support. Everything looked metallic and sharp, almost as if the room itself was a machine. 

Lance tried to steady his breathing. He couldn't remember the last time his anxiety had gotten this bad during a mission. It must have been one of the first times they had truly engaged in battle with the Galra. Based on how similar he felt now to then, he would guess when Sendak had attempted to take over the castle. The whole almost dying thing didn't do too good on him. Or anyone for that matter.

The communicators in their helmets screeched for a split second, making both Lance and Hunk wince. Shiro's voice was barely audible, "Paladin's fall back. I repeat, fall back."

"Get to your lions. Now!" Allura's voice echoed through their helmets now, clearer than Shiro's by a tenfold.

Hunk looked back to where they came from. The hall they had been running in just minutes ago was nothing but rubble and wires. He let out a heavy sigh before turning back, facing the door a few meters ahead of them. Knowing their luck, that exit was collapsed too.

"Well... can't hurt to try, right?"

"Huh?"

Hunk huffed, "I swear, you're going deaf or something." 

"Am not."

"Sure, bud... Come on, we've gotta get out of here."

Hunk made it to the door as the rumble of a distant explosion travelled under their feet. It had started about thirty minutes into the mission. Now, nearly an hour later, they were still going. The Galra had practically made their base into a minefield. The eastern wing, where the prisoners were held, had been entirely decimated, according to Pidge.

Shiro and they had gotten the prisoners out before it was reduced to nothing but sparks and metal, but now Lance wondered if he and Hunk could get themselves out in time before they had a similar fate.

Lance shook himself out of the thought. Who was he kidding? They always made it out, no matter what. Even if they were scattered to every corner of the planet they still found each other. They were the Paladins of Voltron, they were going to get out of this.

"Uhh...Lance?"

"Yeah?"

"It won't open."

Lance stopped, staring at Hunk. "What."

His response was another rapid shake of the ground. The sound followed milliseconds after, taking both Hunk and Lance by surprise. A thunderous crack whipped through the room, making Lance's ears ring horribly. He shut his eyes, attempting to get his ears back to normal. He never knew exactly why that worked, but it did.

When he opened his eyes, he was almost tempted to shut them again. The ceiling had a large cavernous-looking crack directly down the center of it, dust and rocks fell from it like rain. Lance backed himself up against the door, Hunk as well. They both looked at the ceiling in horror. 

"Lance, Hunk, where the hell are you two?" Shiro's voice cut through their silence, this time louder than the last. 

Hunk swallowed, coughing out a response, "Stuck." 

"What do you mean st--"

Before Shiro could finish, the ceiling had begun crashing down. Lance and Hunk screamed in unison, attempting to scramble closer to the door. Dust erupted from the fallen roof like a wave, rushing towards the two Paladins. 

Lance felt the air in his throat get caught. He could no longer see the falling panels, but he could still hear them. He shut his eyes just as he felt the dust hit his face. He was pulled back almost instantly, and before he knew it he was on his back in a hallway. Hunk was next to him, also on the ground. The doors shut just after Lance's eyes adjusted to the bright lights overhead. 

Hunk groaned, holding his hands to his helmet. "Ugh, jeez did you have to pull me that hard?"

"Would you rather be under two floors of this place?" Keith helped Hunk up. 

"Not really, but--"

"We need to get out of here, now." Keith stood above Lance now, holding his hand out to help him up. "Come on."

Lance rolled his eyes before finally taking Keith's hand, pulling himself off the cold metal ground. Keith had always had a weird thing for chivalry when it came to his teammates. That, or he was trying to make up for the fact that he was usually a dickhead to everyone. In Lance's opinion, it was the second one.

Keith pulled his hand away, looking at Lance a bit confused. "Did you want me to hold your hand or something?"

Lance didn't even realize that he didn't let go. His face reddened out of embarrassment. "Oh shut--"

The floor shook again and Keith took off, tapping Lance's arm to make sure he followed. Hunk did the same, but pulled him along.

Were the Galra seriously blowing up their base?

Lance still couldn’t process exactly why they would have a whole self-destruct thing going on, it made no sense to him. They had stored tons of information and prisoners there, there was no way they would just get rid of all of it to inconvenience the Paladins.

Keith started lagging behind Lance and Hunk, not saying anything as he did. Lance didn't question it until the pairs of footsteps behind him when from two to one.

“Wait—“ Lance slowed, looking back.

”I’ll catch up, I dropped my bayard down a hall. Go.” Keith said, his voice scratchy over the communicator. 

“Uh? No? Keith, you’re not doing that alone I’m—“

”Lance, we can’t.” Hunk grabbed Lance's arm to stop him from trying to go back. “He’ll be fine, come on.”

The floor shook again a familiar cracking noise echoed through the hallway. Hunk pushed Lance lightly, beginning to run again.

_Keith can take care of himself, Lance._ He scolded himself. _He doesn’t need you._

The cracking followed them as they bolted down the thin, never-ending hall. The sound of rock and metal hitting against each other took over their footsteps.

Panic had fully hit Lance now. His chest tightened with every breath he took, his vision blurred every time he blinked. His legs felt useless against the terrifying speed of the falling material around him.

Ahead of them, the exit felt like a blinding light. Lance could faintly see the accents of Green and Black on Pidge and Shiro’s armour just outside the door. 

“COME ON!” Pidge yelled, their voice straining.

Hunk was nearly ten feet ahead of him, and the distance between the two was increasing. He couldn’t tell if Hunk was running faster or if his own speed was declining.

Lance felt small pieces of debris hit the unarmoured parts of his body. The dust had begun to creep around his limbs, snaking around his arms and legs like ivy. He felt like he was becoming a statue, his movements felt forced and slow, his body felt like it was turning in on itself. 

“LANCE! COME ON!” Pidge and Hunk yelled from the door. Lance hadn’t even noticed How far ahead Hunk had gotten, or that he had made it out.

Lance no longer felt in control of his body. He felt like he was watching himself run, barely dodging the debris by a step.

He burst through the door, collapsing to the ground the second the wind hit his face. The ground was cold against his skin, despite no exposed skin touching it. He tore off his helmet almost instantly, tossing it a few feet away.

He didn’t need to look back at the wreckage behind him to know it was a ruin. Hunk crouched next to him, putting a reassuring hand on his back.

”Keith, come in. Where are you.” Shiro’s voice was hard. There was a slight waver in his words. “Keith. Where are you.”

Lance’s eyes burned. His entire body felt like it was on fire. He couldn’t bear to hear it. He bit his lip to stop himself from crying. 

_ Keith can take care of himself... _

Pidge spoke this time, their voice fragile and cracked, “Keith? Keith, come on. Answer us.”

Lance wanted to scream. His face became red as he suppressed the tears. He hated when he got like this, and he hated it more when they had to see it.

He knew it wasn’t pretty. It was a sign of weakness, vulnerability. When you’re trying to defend the universe, you can’t be vulnerable.

But that’s all that Lance was.

”You’re alright, buddy. You’re gonna be alright.” Hunk pulled Lance into a hug, patting his head. Hunk knew when Lance got into his head, even if Lance hadn’t said a word. It was like parental instincts, but for a childhood friend. 

_ That fucking idiot... _

_ He said he would catch up... _

_ That idiot. _

“Keith, answer us.”

Through Hunk’s helmet, Lance heard a guttural cough. “I’m... I’m alright.”

Relief unanimously flooded through the Paladins. The nervous energy that has been rubbing off of Pidge like a diffuser had halted. Hunks shoulders loosened.

Lance turned and sat with his legs out, leaning against Hunk. He looked over to Shiro, whose face was still as stern as ever. “Where are you? Are you alright—“

Flames erupted from the middle of the ruined base. A crack, almost like a whip, shot through the area, and then an explosion of dust, fire, and metal blew into the air. 

Everyone shunned their eyes, turning their bodies and stepping back. 

Lance didn’t move. He stared directly at the fire, his heart sinking. His mouth parted slightly in disbelief. His mind went blank. Not a single thought would go through his head.

He was certain he was imagining it. 

_ It wasn’t real... It couldn’t be real... _

Lance’s heart stopped as he heard Shiro’s bayard fall to the ground. His hands twitched slightly as if to adjust his hold on the weapon. He took a step back, before entirely turning around and walking back to his lion. 

The red lion was now short of a Paladin.

\-----

Hunk was silent on the way back. He and Lance had to hitch a ride with Pidge and their lion since Shiro took off before them. Normally, Hunk would be trying to cheer up the team. Might've cracked a joke or two depending on the mission. He stared out at the stars until they got back to the Hanger. Pidge told them to get out the second they landed.

Hunk had joined Lance in his room, sitting next to him on his bed.

"You'll be okay, bud." Hunk sniffled. He put his arm around Lance, giving him a short side hug. Tears formed in Lance's eyes.

He still couldn't believe it. He could barely process it. 

"You can cry, Lance. It's alright." Lance collapsed into Hunk's arms, the tears he'd been trying to hold in finally escaping. He didn't care about being weak anymore. He knew he was. That was all he would be and for now, for once, he was okay with being weak.

Because he wasn't the one who was supposed to be strong. He wasn't the one to hold them together, the one to ensure their security. 

He doesn't hold them together as Shiro does. He doesn't brighten their lives or brings reason as Hunk does. He doesn't adapt and find the best way to do something as Pidge does. He doesn't direct the team with his life as Allura does. He doesn't act as a friendly face with wit as Coran does.

He doesn't take chances for the team, which risked his life as Keith did. 

He was Lance.

"He'd be so damn proud of you... You know that?" Hunk said. "You didn't let it get to you until you were safe... You kept running. He would be so happy to know you made it out, Lance. He'd be goddamn proud of you."

Lance cried harder. He pressed himself just a bit further into Hunk's shoulder, hugging himself tightly.

_ To know you made it out.  _

Lance's head felt heavy. He wanted to forget. He wanted it to go away. He wished they never went on that mission. He wished they had a Red Paladin.

He wished he could be proud of himself for making it out, but instead, he felt nothing but guilt.

\-----

The remaining Paladin's were called to the bridge. Coran was silent, his eyebrows furrowed. He was petting the mice, who were all laying on the arm of the Paladin's chair. Hunk was leaning behind him, resting his arm on the back of it. Pidge sat in their chair, their legs pulled up to their chest. They looked in the general direction of Allura, but their mind was somewhere else. Lance couldn't face anyone. He sat on the stairs, facing the door instead. 

Shiro stood accusingly a few yards from Allura. He had been interrogating her as if she was the one who did it for nearly half an hour. He found every possible variable of the situation and turned it to her. Finally, he had calmed down, just a bit. Lance guessed it was finally starting to set in.

"You couldn't find his signature, could you?"

"I'm... I'm afraid not." She was hesitant to answer, her voice apologetic. "I am sorry, Shiro."

Shiro didn't react to her regard. His anger from before became present in his voice once again. "We can't leave him there. We can't leave a Paladin behind, alive or not." 

"We can't."

"Princess, I'm sorry, but I'm not leaving my brother."

"We can't."

"Then I'll do it myself."

"You don't understand, Shiro!" Her face reddened in anger. "Keith isn't dead, he's gone. His signature was missing because he wasn't there!"

The bridge fell silent at her words. Neither she nor Coran mentioned this earlier. Lance perked his head up, turning around to face his leader and Allura.

"What the _hell_ are you talking about."

Coran answered for her. "I was recording the logs the whole time. He disappeared just before the explosion. He wasn't killed, he just... vanished."

Shiro looked at him in disbelief. Lance and just about everyone else in the room did as well. They were all sure they had just watched their teammate die. All of them. Why were they telling them now? 

"I know it sounds bizarre, but you have to believe us-"

Lance got up without a word and pushed Allura out of the way of the control console. He wasn't a space tech version of Jesus like pidge, but he had seen them take over the panel enough times to know what words took him where. He moved his hands on the teal light emitted from the panel, it lit up the features of his face very faintly. A recording of the log began to play, and he stepped back. Everyone's attention moved from him to the log, easing his nerves just slightly. 

"Oh my god..." Pidge's voice was small.

Lance couldn't believe his eyes. They weren't lying. As much as he wanted to think they were, they weren't. Keith did disappear. The log closed and the light faded back into the panel.

It was so terrifyingly similar to what happened to Shiro a short few months before. After the last battle with Zarkon, he had disappeared from his lion without a trace. The way Keith had essentially de-materialized was eerily similar. Shiro had taken a notice of that, his eyes dull in memory.

If this was going to go the same way it did with Shiro, then they weren't going to get Keith back in one piece. It had been months and Shiro still flinched at the sight of a foot soldier. Not to mention it had taken them nearly a month to get him back. And that was a month that they couldn't form Voltron. _If they didn't Keith back for longer than that..._

Allura broke the silence amongst the Paladins, shaking everyone out of their thoughts. "We are going to find our missing Paladin. But for now, you all need to rest. I'm going to check the inner command for something." And with that, she took off to the main doors, leaving the rest of the team to themselves.

"We're going to find him, Shiro," Pidge said, stopping just a few feet in front of him. They had a small glint of hope in their eyes. "You promised you would help me find Matt, I promise I'll help you find Keith."

Hunk walked over, putting his hand on Shiro's shoulder. "Me too. Family's more important than anything. Even if I didn't raise the guy like you did, he's still family to us."

"I as well. Code of Honour, we'll never leave a Paladin behind." Coran added. There was confidence behind his words.

Lance moved his gaze to the floor. He knew they were waiting for him to say something. Waiting for him to declare that he would scour every star and system in the universe for his teammate. But in all honesty, Lance wasn't sure he would do that.

_ Keith didn't need him. _

"Lance?"

He shoved his hands in the pockets of his jacket, looking up at them sheepishly. "You'll find him." He said, pain every so slightly filling his voice. "I know you will."

**Author's Note:**

> This is originally posted on quotev, so,,, yeah idk have fun i hate it enjoy


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